Torn and Her Thoughts

aaargggh! why? for goodness’ sake why? why do people keep asking me, in a not-too-polite tone, MIND YOU, why i haven’t gotten hitched yet or why I haven’t SERIOUSLY considered getting hitched yet?   Worse, why do they keep goading me to do so? I feel just like my good friend jaybee in the midst of sitting beside mrs. this and mrs. that in a purportedly big wedding bash, with people all around gushing just how great being  married and having kids is.  I mean, really now. I am a hopeless romantic, really, but this kind of bullshitting is way more than i can take, knowing that the very people gushing at just how happy they are, really are NOT!  I mean come on.  The truly happy people don’t "gush" about such things.  They don’t need to, it shows.  So the best thing those stuck in a rut can do is pretend everything’s perfect by shouting it out loud so nobody ever misses a single damn thing about the marital bliss and all its extras that they are ’supposedly’ experiencing. Get real people. I dare you, get real!

Here’s the thing.  When everything settles down, and the wedding cake is way beyond gone, you wake up to what? To a routine sex life and to the glaring reality that the person you married is not really the same as the prince charming you so lovingly conjured in your overactive imagination. Face it and deal with it.  Maybe then, you can start really loving each other once the masks and expectations are tucked neatly away, and not simply ignored like what many of you are doing.  I am full of angst, yes, but that’s the way i see it folks. And when the kids come, oh, don’t get me started on that one.  But here goes anyway.  I mean, it’s great having kids, right? but come on people.  specially you women out there.  I don’t believe you’ve always just wanted to be a housewife. I mean, you got your degrees so you can have a career and where is it now?  Our generation is all about multitasking.  And if you can hosestly tell me that you’re content on never really reaching your full potential because of the kids and the hubby then i feel mighty sorry for you. Yah, yah, yah, family comes first.  But then, when you’re old and grey and the bloody kids don’t even come to visit you, then heck, you’d feel mighty sorry for yourself too. hehe. i’m enjoying this.

I’m not the usual angst-ridden gal who is angst-ridden because of the absence of a man in her life or because i haven’t been proposed to.  In fact, even with a steady relationship going on for 6 years now, admirers have never really disappeared, and all the more so now that i am thrown in the midst of an international motley crue where i can’t help but be admired.  Yes I am arrogant and conceited and vain, but that’s the truth. The reason why i have so much angst against pretentious unions is because they rub it into you, thinking you’re stupid  enough not to know that everything is fabricated and that you’d fall for their stories and get really green with envy.  Goodness, people, tell that to the dwarves.

I’ll redeem myself now.  I mean, there are those exceptional cases when marital bliss really is a reality and everything is fine in paradise. I have seen couples who really do stick it out with each other and who never got in the way of each other’s path to success.  I mean that’s the greatest thing right? You can have kids and a great career.  I guess it all depends on timing.  If you get married early when you haven’t even begun doing what you’ve envisioned doing your whole life, and marriage and kids come in the way, that’s where trouble starts.  You see, in our primarily chauvinistic culture, you let the guy go ahead with his dreams and you wait for your turn.  But, does it ever come? I mean, us women always have to sacrifice.  I can not ever, for the life of me, even if i married a tycoon, or Bill Gates, not be a doctor.  I have worked hard to get to where I am now, and am not that daft to give it all up for a man. Na-ah.  Men, if you’re an unlucky woman, they leave you.  And when they do, it’s going to be one hell of a difficult time to pick up the pieces when there aren’t any of them left for the picking.  So timing really is important.  For me, it’s that time when we (me and my hubby-to-be) both have reached our peaks, or are almost there, and have nothing to lose by giving a little bit of ourselves unselfishly to a family that we both are ready to have. That way, we wouldn’t ever have to feel like we missed out on something, and instead welcome these changes in our lives without regret or a wandering eye (had to put in that one).

The real deal: we do get attracted to someone else once in while.  And when that attraction builds up and its reciprocated, then we’re done for.  It’s no problem really when you’re single, but gosh, the thrill of an affair when you’re married…it won’t let you sleep.  Can you honestly say your mate hasn’t contemplated having an affair?  As if they’d tell you.  Come on, even single people cheat. And for the married ones, wow, an affair is hot, hot, and nothing but hot.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 19th, 2006 at 6:55 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.